Friday, November 13, 2009

Oh, the games we must play...

2 comments Posted by Ashley [aka Keens] at 7:47 PM

Life has a funny way of throwing little "games" at us when we're least expecting them.  We really have no choice but to play them and to hopefully laugh about it later. Today, I guess my name was pulled from the "haha let's f*ck with someone today" hat.  This isn't my favorite game but luckily I've been pretty victorious for the past decade.  

This game is usually played when two people, who once dated, meet somewhere unexpectedly.  Sometimes this meeting takes place in a bar, or perhaps a mall, or maybe even on the drive home from work.  The rules are simple: Whoever looks better and appears to be the happiest wins.  Bonus points are awarded if the losing player is having an "off" day.  The game is over indefinitely if the winning player is seen with a bf/gf that's more attractive than the losing player.  In the event that conversation occurs between the two players, the player who acts the least awkward will be awarded bonus points.


Did I lose you yet?


Anyway, the game today took place on the ride home from work - in traffic, no less.  Unfortunately, I'm having one of the worst "off days" I've had in a long, long time.  In fact, I'm pretty sure I would scare small children if I were to leave the house without make-up.  It's not looking good for player #1.  Meanwhile, player #2 pulls up to player #1 in his new truck and looks to be having the opposite of an "off day".  At this point, most onlookers would wish the game to be finished.  Thankfully, the gods of traffic agreed and we parted ways.  

Evaluation of the game concludes that Player #2 is the obvious victor and is awarded bonus points caused by Player #1's fail day.  However, no gf/bf was spotted accompanying player #2, so the game may continue at a later date.  Although Player #1 didn't come close to winning, she did take active steps to avoid the bonus points that Player #2 would have gained had they conversed.  It's important to note that pretending to text to avoid eye-contact is an acceptable form of defense.  

If you're forced into this situation, take comfort in the fact that you're not subjected to this game very often AND you may just win.  Today, I wasn't so lucky.

 

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Top 10 Reasons Why Geeks Make the Best Catch

2 comments Posted by Ashley [aka Keens] at 3:41 PM


It’s not generally realized that geeks (male and female) are the best catches. Americans focus on the glamour of the good-looking, the male jock and the statuesque female, and tend to make fun of second banana characters like Urkel. Yet, geeks (a.k.a. nerds, etc.) provide the opportunity to have much longer, more stable, and happy relationships.

Here are the top ten reasons:

1. Geeks don't cheat. Geeks know that the grass only seems greener on the other side. They instinctively stay devotedly loyal to their lovers through thick and thin. Their social skills are also not well developed enough to support an affair.
2. Geeks appreciate their mates. Since you are likely to be one of the first persons a geek has ever had a significant relationship with, you will be treated well. A geek knows that there aren’t a whole lot of other possibilities. Frankly, geeks aren't quite sure how they ended up with the person they have attracted. When you date a geek, you know that geek will be yours for as long as you wish.
3. Geeks haven't formed bad relationship habits. After years of dating other people, the socially successful have become too confident to be intimate, think of partners as being only for their self-gratification, and focus on making themselves happy. None of this is true of a geek. The lack of past romantic partners allows the geek to approach lovers with the zest of a neophyte. Geeks are not full of romantic confidence. However, once encouraged, they are eager to please and enjoy their relationship.
4. Geeks are good at the things they try. Every geek has skills passionately developed over a long period of time. It could be role playing, chess, hacking, playing video games, or the ability to properly assemble a computer. So you know that geeks won't quit until they have learned how to make their relationship the best.
5. Geeks are not interested in status. Geeks became geeks because they chose to spend their time doing things that would not necessarily make them popular with everyone else in school, like sports and fashion. The ability to resist peer pressure is important to geeks. This means that a geek is more interested in your happiness than in looking good to others.
6. Geeks have imagination. Boredom is important to avoid to the game playing geek. A geek will seek new and creative ways to play, and this translates to relationships as well.
7. Geeks are happy and successful in their chosen field. No matter what their education level, geeks are able to make good incomes doing work that they enjoy. That eliminates one of the most frequent causes of relationship problems, since people who don’t like their jobs may take it out on their significant other.
8. Geeks are analytical. If they don’t get it right the first time, they look at what they did and figure out what to change. And when they DO get it right, they still keep finding ways to improve on it.
9. Geeks can concentrate. Geeks can focus their energy on one task with total intensity. Granted, the task they are focusing on may have more to do with writing new software for their Blackberry, but the fact remains that a geek, once set upon a task, tirelessly sets about to achieving a goal.
All of which means that…
10. Geeks want to be the best at what they do. So they try harder. And they never stop trying.

 

Wanderlusting and can't find someone wanting to travel with you?

0 comments Posted by Ashley [aka Keens] at 3:25 PM

Wanting to travel and not being able to find someone to go with has to be one of the worst things EVER.  Well, I found a website that may help you with this:

Seven Wonders Solo

You sign up and create a profile for yourself specifying your preferences, such as:

  • Group or Individual vacations
  • Vacation length
  • Accommodations (ex: hostel, economy hotel, etc)
  • Local transportation
  • Vacation sleeping habits
  • How far in advance you need to plan
  • Next vacation preferences (where? by land or sea? departing in how many days?)
I signed up a few months ago and completely forgot about it until someone sent me a message recently.  It seems like a neat idea... if you're brave enough ;) 


You may also be interested in: http://www.couchsurfing.org/

 

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

... And now, for your opening act...

1 comments Posted by Ashley [aka Keens] at 10:38 PM

First, I'd like to remind everyone that lying on your dating profile will not only get you caught (uh, we DO have to meet) but will make you look extremely stupid. Okay, now that it's been said let me introduce you to "the teacher".  From the first few conversations I gathered that he's into running, teaching, and making everyone laugh.

Since my profile states that I love sushi (OMG he can read?) he suggested that we meet at a sushi place downtown.  I'm automatically down and tell him that I can meet him after work.  Well, about 15 minutes prior to when we're supposed to meet, he texted me and told me that he was at the restaurant early but not to rush. I don't know about you, but this automatically makes me feel rushed (strike 1).  When I arrive I notice that something didn't add up.  I recalled on his profile that he said he's 6'2'' but when he stood up he's clearly 5'2''.  To this day, I'm not sure why he would lie to me about that (strike 2).  He also told me that he was the funniest guy I'd ever meet.

In case you've never met me, I laugh at EVERYTHING.  However, the teacher failed to make me laugh - not even once! To make matters worse, he rolled his eyes whenever he felt awkward - which was every time that I wouldn't laugh at his jokes.  He asked if I wanted to go somewhere else with him that night and I declined (wonder why?).  As we were leaving, the server tracked us down because apparently my date left HIS BOOK at the restaurant.  Okay, let's get a few thing straight...

1.  He lied about his height
2.  He was obnoxiously early
3.  He wasn't funny
4.  He brought a book to read in his "down time"

At this point I'm dying to leave ASAP.  So he walks me to the parking garage in the area and I give him the courtesy "goodbye hug" which he thinks means "let's make out in front of everyone in the area". I manage to dodge the kiss and tell him that I'm parked in the garage nearby.  He insists on walking me to my car (ugh!) and tries AGAIN to kiss me.  I dodge the kiss a last time and tell him to have a good night.  Now, I'm pretty certain that if a chick denies you twice she's not interested in you.  Call me crazy.

After that date, I figured he would have gotten the hint and he'd leave me alone.  I'm not so lucky.  A few days later he noticed me online (damn you, match.com) and messaged me.  Sometime a minute after I signed on.  Anyways, FYI - the block feature on match.com is amazing.  :)

 

Psychics, palm readers, and magic eight balls ... oh my!

1 comments Posted by Ashley [aka Keens] at 10:17 PM

I've always been attracted to those places.  You've seen them.  The ones that advertise psychic readings and/or palm readings.  I suppose it doesn't matter though, as I've always been offered readings by people who are more "sensitive" than others.  In the past this hasn't bothered me and usually fascinates me.

However, I recently took advantage of an offered reading and wasn't prepared for the results.  But why shouldn't I have been prepared?  It was the exact same reading as the rest of the previous readings.  The reading pretty much told me that since I had been hurt by my previous relationships, I was only attracting negative energy and that it was impossible for me to allow positive energy in. 

The outcome was exactly what I didn't want to hear. Over the years, I've been told by other psychics that I'll never get married and that I'll have two children out of wedlock.  I'm now approaching 27 so it gets harder to shrug off these comments.  However, I realize that I'll get what I've been looking for when I'm ready for it.  Until then, I'm just going to laugh off these readings.  After all, aren't these readings a bit too vague anyways?

 

The pioneers for the men folk...

0 comments Posted by Ashley [aka Keens] at 9:47 PM

 

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