Yes, that really happened...

Before meeting Moneybanks, I've never really met anyone that flaunts the amount of money they make every chance they can get. It might be the most unattractive trait I've ever seen.

I was sitting in an airport for hours due to a delayed flight (pretty standard for me) and decided to sit at one of the bars/restaurants and do some work on my laptop. Due to my outgoing nature and friendly personality, many people like to sit down next to me and talk to me. This is usually fine as I'm friendly and like to meet new people. Well, an older guy we'll call moneybanks sits down right next to me. Moneybanks is 37, never married, no kids and lives with a roommate on the coast. I know what you're thinking, red flag! HUGE red flag even. Or is that just me?

Anyways, he goes on to say that he's meeting a "model friend" in Long Island for a weekend getaway in the Hamptons. He was apparently paying to fly her up there and he is so excited, blah blah blah. At this point he's told me how much he makes quite a few times *rolls eyes*. He continues to drone on about how attractive she is and how he can't wait to see her. While he talks, I'm trying to do the polite "I'm working on my laptop, leave me alone" stance but he doesn't get it. Sometime during my attempt to ignore him, he asks me my age. I tell him and then he starts to ask more questions about me and gets closer.

I'm definitely not interested in him at this point but he's so ridiculous I couldn't resist. He went on to tell me he owns several boats and makes tons of money off of selling various things on ebay. As soon as I'm about to leave for the bathroom, my friend arrives (finally!) and sits next to him. I introduce them and leave, thinking that she'll either join in on the fun or tell him to go play in traffic. What I didn't realize is that she's taking the fun route a little too extreme. She gave him my number. I noticed he had a big smile on his face when I got back but I thought nothing of it. He paid our tabs with $100 (didn't see that coming) and left.

The next day I got the following message from him:

"Ah well I'm in a luxory (yes, that's his spelling) bathrobe sitting on a lounger over the water on my private huge ass rooftop terrace overlooking the water, you could party with 50 people on this thing. My date unfortunately got wasted at the wine tasting and is quite under the weather.. I need to choose my travel partner companions more choosily (again, his word) me thinks. So FYI there will be an opening for the position of Moneybanks' next future ex girlfriend if you care to submit an application, my fringe benefit package is to die for!!!"

I really can't make this stuff up. Nor will I forgive my friend.

The last message I received from him was via voicemail. I haven't responded to his texts or calls. The voicemail goes like this:

"Hey, I'm super interested in you and would love to take you out on a date. I could come to you or you can come out to me. It'll be worth your while!"

Eh, if I had a quarter for every time I heard that ... ;)